The Quest for 100

There are a lot of people in their 50s, 60s and 70s I have met that chase the 100 year life. I am not there yet. Not a goal on my vision board. Not against it, just not going all in on becoming a centenarian.

A Goal

The goal - a crack at defying life expectancy statistics to become a part of a new cohort of citizens that is rooted in modern day science. Knowing now more than we once did opens up the opportunity to amass a ten decade life.

My grandparents lived amazing lives. Granddaddy (Adolphus Grady Hemphill) made it to 91 and my Grandmother (Mary Olive Hemphill) to 94, passing away in 2012 and 2016; respectively. I can promise you their longevity was not one that came with supplements, biohacking, anti-aging, specialized nutrition plans or reading copious amounts of books about the “secret to longevity”. 

It was not science or medical intervention that afforded them long lives. It was so much more simple. 

Love - lots of love. Love for a partner, love for self and love for family and friends.

Community - They belonged to communities that provided purpose. My Granddaddy, the Mason’s, the church and of course family. My Grandmother, a church librarian, the matriarch of a brood of grandchildren and great grandchildren and their friend group that got together every Friday night at a home for dominoes. 

Purpose - They always had a plan for how to stay relevant in society.

Movement - They moved often, but it was not at gyms or with personal trainers. It was just in their daily life. Grandmother at the library and my Granddaddy in his shop, sharpening tools and creating art until the day he died. 

Whole Foods - They didn’t eat out. They cooked at home, always. Sat at the table for all three meals and conversed without so much focus on food. 

Family - They loved family and all the opportunities every birthday, every holiday or randomly planned day brought their way. They always said YES, and showed up. Later we all took turns picking them up.

Moderation - They did nothing to excess. Nothing, except partnership and love, 67 years to be exact. 

Financial Security - My grandparents were never wealthy by any means. They saved and spent judiciously. They did not stress about not having more nor did they stress about having too little. Contempt in the world. They knew who they were and did not care about being like others. They always lived within their means. From the time I was 2 until I was 35, Christmas presents for the grandkids never exceeded a $20.00 limit. Looking back, I love their simplistic and responsible approach. I never expected more from them and they were impeccable at setting a boundary. 

Today, September 17, 2025, my Grandmother would have turned 104. Do I wish she was still here, a superager of all superagers, selfishly, of course I do. I understand I should have found more time in my 20s and 30s to just sit and be still with her, listening to wisdom and knowing I would long for such minutes once I could no longer have them. 

Grandmother’s 90th Birthday

Life Lived Isn’t Determined by a Number 

But 94 was enough for her. She held on for three years after her best friend was gone. She was okay going home to a place her faith assured she would go, and more than anything, reunite with my Granddaddy. She was not scared of death. Neither of them were. They had everything all planned out in their wills, burial plots and desired memorial services.

There were some medical complications that didn’t make the last years easy, but it was absolutely the textbook example of compressed morbidity. They didn’t die of cancer, although Grandmother did have a double mastectomy in her late 80s. They had services, mostly family that came in to help towards the end. Both ended their life with hospice in a comfortable and dignified manner. Calm, quiet and as they wished. No tubes, no machines, no life-extending measures. 

I want to live a long life. I want to see my boys and their kids explore the world. I want to meet my grandchildren. I want to leave an impact for as long as I can. I want to experience love and intimacy in my 90s. But like them, I am not set on living to 100. Not sure what 100 feels like. I do know most 100 year olds I have spoken with are shocked they are still alive. 

Quiet Strength

They do not focus on a number or more years. Instead they tend to focus on today and tomorrow. Treating each day like a gift they have been awarded with a responsibility to make it count. They are not looking for accolades or trophies for their longevity accomplishment. Rather they wake up and do what they have always done. I once met a man in his mid 90’s who told me he had eaten oatmeal for breakfast everyday for the last 30 years. When I asked him why, he simply said, “It is one less decision I have to make today.” The same way he told me he wore the same few outfits everyday to save his energy for things that were more important. 

I think the life and road to 100 is a quiet life. One not looking to be noticed or overtly celebrated. I think those that make it to 100 have an uncanny ability to silence the noise in the world and have absolutely mastered the idea that comparison is the thief of joy, earning the wisdom not to sweat the small stuff they do not have control over. Their laissez-faire attitude is one of armor and protection that lets them focus on minutes and days, not years or decades. 

Granddaddy’s hands his last day on earth

What is 100 Really Like?

When I think of a 100 year old life, I do not see people surfing or competing. I do not see them waking up saying, “Look at me, I am a badass.” Maybe they think it because in the last twenty years they have attended more funerals than any other life event. Instead, they tend to be clothed in humility, appreciation and awe of what the world keeps offering them. I also believe that reading books written by people 30 years younger, mastering life and living forever are not of interest. Even in your 80s and 90s, that notion of not changing what is broken, or has gotten me this far, is something I hear often. 

I’d say, just get to living today, tomorrow and this year. Focus on the next three to five years if you’d like. I am certain I need to figure out 46, next 47 and, in a few, age 50, before I become obsessed with reaching 100. 

As I told my kids last night, you have ~70 years to be an adult if you live to be 88. Do not rush being a kid, a preteen and a teenager in the quest for adulthood. All to say, I do not think we know what 100 years looks or feels like until one reaches 100.